My tell all of taking T

So I told a follower that I would share my story of how life really is since taking T (testosterone). Every one talks about how wonderful it is to finally be able to take T. We all write about how we finally got to the point of being able to take it and we all talk about the changes in our bodies since taking it. Myself included. I am sure we all have seen the videos so far. At any rate I would like to tell a little bit about the darker side of taking T. Something most of us do not talk about. And why would we? We are so damn excited to finally have been able to take that step to manhood. Let me start this off with a little story. When Angel and I go out somewhere fancy, or to a nightclub or something like that she will start this long process. It starts with what she is going to wear, clothes.. shoes.. how is her hair going to be and the sort. I usually watch this from the bed as I sit on the edge and think to myself.. Pants-Check, Shirt-Check, Boxers-Check, socks-Check.. and usually throw in the decision of whether to wear a tie that night, and what boots or shoes I will wear.. nothing big.. and I then sit on the bed to watch the show.. What is she going to wear.. does this look good? What about this? Is this ok? “Baby you look beautiful in all of your clothes” Then she gets off to the shower, comes back.. gets partially dressed.. well because you can’t put on the shirt and stuff and risk getting makeup on it.. Then comes the what.. hour event of putting on makeup.. I watched her and my sister getting ready to go out to the club the other night.. and I had a time that I wanted to leave by. They always ask me.. is that time set in stone? Well fortunately it wasn’t that night.. but it seems without the pressure of needing to be on my time, they were able to get the makeup to work right.. yay team.. then.. what shoes.. High heels? flats? nope have to have a heel.. and I always ask.. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF????? Why do you put makeup on that makes you bitch, why do you wear heels that have you aching by the time you get home.. Why .. well no the clothes I understand.. why do you make yourself suffer? I am always told.. because it makes us feel good.. and besides you like the results.. which I have to admit I do. But that got me to thinking this morning after only 2.5 hours of freaking sleep. especially when I looked down at my thighs and saw all of the marks from my patches.. I am possibly having a slight allergic reaction to the patches.. not the sticky part, but perhaps the gel that is in the patches.. I am not sick or anything.. but I have gotten rashes from it.. I clean the area well and it seems to help. We are going to get some itch cream for it as well.. it was recommended in the insert from the patches so hopefully it works. Now some may be saying.. oh a little rash is not bad.. well yeah a little one isn’t.. I have patches from the patches.. so why do I do it? Ever make the mistake of not drinking water for a day or two.. put all that crappy soda in your body? You go to the bathroom and your urine is strong enough to knock over a bull? -Hey I said it was a tell all- .. Yeah well.. get those boosts of T going through your body and your urine is enough to knock over a herd of bulls.. just sayin’ Oh here is one for you.. now this may be just me.. hell all of this may be just me.. So the hair on my arms is getting longer.. and it is going up to the back of my hands.. and even some on my knuckles.. in this case I am glad I have light hair.. anyway.. we of course have the fans running 24/7.. well I have jumped I don’t know how many times because I thought there was a damn spider crawling on my hand or my arm and it was indeed only the hair on my arms moving from the fan.. Seriously?!?!?!?!? So people (doctors, therapists, my own research) have been saying that my libido would increase.. Before my T I seriously told Angel that I thought I was impotent.. because my sex drive was very very very reverse… Well I mean it wasn’t like we had no sex.. but it was not as much as she would have liked or for that matter as much as I would have liked.. So the idea of my libido increasing is and was a wonderful thought.. Only thing is .. into my third month on T and I am not really seeing an increase in how much I want to have sex, or even how much I think about it.. actually I may think about it more than I have it.. and people when you do that and you are NOT single, there may be an issue.. atleast in my head there is an issue. Now Angel says she thinks it has increased.. So here comes some TMI Hey I said tell all didn’t I? So before T I had always had a hard time getting my body to respond the way one should be responding.. and it was not a passion or desire issue because it was there in my breathing.. my desires.. my hands.. yada yada.. just not down below.. it wouldn’t move.. it wouldn’t do what it was suppose to do.. hence my comment about being impotent.. if one can be without actually having a penis.. Ok so now since taking T.. HOLY .. what in the hell was that? The bits and pieces down there are actually trying to get ahead of me. I am a compassionate lover.. this is NOT me bragging.. my absolute best time in bed is when I can please my lover.. and I love pleasing Angel.. I want to make sure she is absolutely happy before I get anywhere near my own fireworks.. Ask her.. she will tell you. Anyway before T that was no problem whatsoever.. only problem like I said was my ability to get to my own fireworks… oh and I should mention I had to use some battery operated friends with Angel directing it.. in order to do so.. But since taking T.. my battery operated friends are a bit much to hang around. I feel like a man who does not know how to control his performance. I have to keep all things away from me until I can do what I need to do for Angel. I feel like a teenager having sex for the first time. I even get the whole.. If there is a stiff breeze thing kicking.. I mean I have not felt like this in years.. since my 20′s.. and people ever questioned if I was really a man.. sheesh.. Now that is not to say that Angel gets to have sex everyday because lets face it.. I am old.. we have kids , Angel is going for her Master’s and helping me with The Alliance.. But when we do I have to be careful not to be a minute man. Different.. definitely different Ok let’s see what else? I noticed something yesterday as we were driving around trying to get things done. And I am not sure if this is because of the T.. or if it is because I am sick to death of some of the people in this town. Either way, I drive differently.. I don’t mean I am reckless or anything I have a family and I value their lives as well as my own and others on the road. I don’t know what it is exactly.. I was driving and I noticed I sit up straighter.. I am using my right arm more ( I haven’t in a few years because of an injury to it and because hell DDD breasts is hard to get around sometimes) I rest my arm on the window more.. I feel more confident.. and I accelerate more? Maybe I will have to ask Angel.. this could all be in my own head lol.. What else.. OMG.. my face.. I am so not liking the oily skin on my face. When I shower.. I have a face wash I use.. then about an hour or so later I use some more face wash.. then I use astrigent through out the day.. and the acne coming back is just NOT COOL!! just sayin’ Oh and apparently I am getting them on my back as well.. Fracking GREAT! I am a lot Native American, atleast 1/4 maybe more but I am not willing to do the math right now. At any rate with that in mind.. I may not be able to grow a full beard (which is ok with Angel she wouldn’t like it) But.. I am growing hair.. however, it is fine.. it is soft.. and it is very very blond.. I basically have a full beard of long peach fuzz.. lol… I shave it.. because it will help it to grow back more and more each time. Even with the Native American blood I am going to be the type that has a five o’clock shadow.. my side burns grow super fast. I made a comment to Angel the other day.. I was changing my patch.. she was helping me because we were putting it in a spot I couldn’t reach.. so I am handing it to her and the fan blows it a little. I laughed and told her to be careful because I had no interest in sleeping with a bearded woman.. Then I had to laugh and told her that in a few months should could be sleeping with a bearded transman with DDD hairy chest.. ( I have a hard time calling them breasts or tits, or boobs or whatever else name we have given them.. actually I think of them as tumors, Angel doesn’t like that) ok what else.. I am sure Angel will read this and let me know what I forgot.. So with strong urine,… rashes.. hate being spewed at me.. Looks that just make you want to slap someone.. would I stop taking the T? Would I stop the process so it could all be easier.. NO.. because it would not be easier.. it would be the death of who I am .. really.. I am Storm Marcus Silvermane The soon to be Husband of Angel Father to three children Brother to one sister Son-in-law to one Mother -in-law (by the way, and she doesn’t read this because well she is not puter savvy, but I am proud she calls me her son-in-law) Queer Male I am a MAN And I am not going to look at Angel anymore and ask her why she makes her self suffer like that.