I do, I dislike my body. I wish I could say that being blind helps it, but it doesn't I know it is thee, I can feel it there.
The only being blind gives me is I no longer have to see it in the mirror. I no longer have to see the feminine features that never seem to go away regardless of how much T I am on and how long I have taken it. Does anyone else see it? big fat NO
My wife tells me even before I started T she never saw feminine features. She has always seen this rugged looking, acting man.
Gender Dysphoria (ref: American Psychiatry Association)
"The term “transgender” refers to a person whose sex assigned at birth (i.e. the sex assigned at birth, usually based on external genitalia) does not align their gender identity (i.e., one’s psychological sense of their gender). Some people who are transgender will experience “gender dysphoria,” which refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity. Though gender dysphoria often begins in childhood, some people may not experience it until after puberty or much later.
People who are transgender may pursue multiple domains of gender affirmation, including social affirmation (e.g., changing one’s name and pronouns), legal affirmation (e.g., changing gender markers on one’s government-issued documents), medical affirmation (e.g., pubertal suppression or gender-affirming hormones), and/or surgical affirmation (e.g., vaginoplasty, facial feminization surgery, breast augmentation, masculine chest reconstruction, etc.). Of note, not all people who are transgender will desire all domains of gender affirmation, as these are highly personal and individual decisions."
So, I, like many and unlike many others have gender dysphoria. My biggest issue is my chest. I cannot stand it, I hate it, I abhor it. I am not sure if any of these words quite measure up to how much I dislike my chest. I carry double D tumors on my chest (I am not belitteling anyone who have had tumors or have had lumps in their chest) I am merely using the word tumor to convey how much I fucking hate my chest. I refuse to call them breasts. Breasts are wonderful beautiful and help to feed our children (if possible). These things do nothing of the sort, they are huge, they get in my way, and most times cause my sleep apnea to spike so if I am not wearing my cpap for some reason they try to strangle me.
Every morning I wake up and have to spend a good 15 minutes convincing myself that I WILL NOT get a sharp knife and cut them off me. I WILL NOT.
The time it takes to convince myself of that is longer on some days than others, and some days I don't quite convince myself, but I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful wife who convinces me that I will die from blood loss, or some other thing I did stupid in my attempts to rid myself of theses massive invasive tumors.
Did you know, that if you have big tits (yeah starting to use my own language now) the first thing people see is a big chest and you must be a female. They totally ignore the fact that your face is male, your wear a full beard and your voice is deep. Nope, they do us just like they do women with big chests, Um fucker, my eyes are up here with my beard and mustache.
Testosterone is a wonderful thing for us transmen. It moves fat cells around. so if you are one of those individuals that was graced with junk in the trunk (waves my hand) then it will move it around to the front (now I have a keg, tho wife says it is more like a 12 pack and no I am not talking ripped abs). My wife says I have frog butt and I cannot for the life of me keep my pants up. I really do need to replace my belt apparently.
Do you suffer from dysphoria? Would you like to share a story? send it to stormsilvermane@gmail.com put in the subject what it is about and include your permission to post it in my blog in the main part of the email. Your story could help someone else
Comments below, you can comment, you can ask questions I am open to it all. But you cannot be a bully or just a plain degrading ass. Thank you for your kindness ahead of time.
LLAP
Storm